Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
