cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
