so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
