Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
