After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
