Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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