dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
