So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
