ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
