I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
