I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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