Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
so much tequila, so little girl.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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