No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
