im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
