Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
