Can Purell be used as lube?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
