dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
