spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she told me i tasted like america
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
