I am spending my child support on dildos
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
