good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
