I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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