Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
