i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
