I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
