i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and she was petting her beer can
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
