Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
