Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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