You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
