Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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