I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
