I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
