Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
