A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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