I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
