Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
In America we eat man semen.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
