Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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