No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
