What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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