East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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