i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
