i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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