Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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