i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
