you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
