i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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