I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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