question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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