It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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