He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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