So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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