Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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